So many of us can find we are struggling, from time to time, with low self-esteem. It really gets in the way of making progress with our lives, right? What if there was a single, almost magical solution? It could super-charge our lives if we were confident and forging forwards without self-doubts. Well, there is.
There are three different ways in which low self-esteem presents itself in our lives:
When we have a low sense of competence but our sense of worthiness is intact.
When we have a low sense of worthiness but our sense of competence is intact.
When we have a low sense of our worthiness and our competence.
Self-esteem combines how skilled we feel we are and whether we feel good enough, in our own minds.
There are different skills that can help increase either our worthiness or our competence, but there is one skill that is excellent for both, so you can’t go far wrong.
Well actually, you can. You see, this particular skill is exceptional when it comes to changing lives for the better, as long as we do it right. But most people don’t do it right, which can be worse than if you had never tried it in the first place. What am I talking about? This magical, amazing skill is none other than setting goals and achieving them.
The thing about goal setting is that research shows it‘s not only life-changing, it can even be life-saving. When people who were imprisoned in concentration camps or held in hostage situations or stranded on desert islands set small, daily goals, they were motivated to stay alive. They had something going on in their daily life that gave them the motivation to fight, to live when others were giving up.
So, here’s the technique. Write a list of goals, they need to be SMART:-
Specific – be precise, “rather than go out with my friends” make it “Go out Thursday night for a meal at Theo’s with Joe and Becky.” Think WHO is involved, WHEN will it happen, WHERE will I be, WHAT will happen?
Measurable – make sure you can determine that your goal has been successfully achieved. Think how will I know my goal was successful?
Achievable – seeing the Northern Lights is not a good goal if you’re not going to be able to make it happen. Think can I make this goal happen within two weeks?
Relevant – is your goal something you value and is it going to make you feel good?
Timely – focus on goals that can be achieved within a two week period, preferably within a week, so you don’t lose the flow.
Go for it, just think of one goal now, start simple, you can shoot for the moon later. If you achieve it, it will increase your self-esteem, then, do it again, and again. If you do it according to the rules, you will keep on increasing your self-esteem, if you don’t achieve it, check the rules and have another go. Goals are motivating, encouraging and uplifting. They can change your life. Choose goals that you value and commit to them. You are looking for goals that leave you with a sense of pleasure and a sense of achievement. If obstacles get in your way, don’t give up, work around them and keep going. Remember to celebrate your successes and acknowledge your efforts.
My photo is taken at the River Teifi, Cilgerran, North Pembrokeshire, Wales. This man is rowing a traditional Welsh coracle boat. They are quite tricky boats to use and this beautiful river is the venue for an annual coracle race.