Posted in Health & Wellbeing

Self-Esteem and Goal Setting

So many of us can find we are struggling, from time to time, with low self-esteem.  It really gets in the way of making progress with our lives, right?  What if there was a single, almost magical solution?  It could super-charge our lives if we were confident and forging forwards without self-doubts.  Well, there is.

There are three different ways in which low self-esteem presents itself in our lives:

When we have a low sense of competence but our sense of worthiness is intact.

When we have a low sense of worthiness but our sense of competence is intact.

When we have a low sense of our worthiness and our competence.

Self-esteem combines how skilled we feel we are and whether we feel good enough, in our own minds.

There are different skills that can help increase either our worthiness or our competence, but there is one skill that is excellent for both, so you can’t go far wrong.

Well actually, you can.  You see, this particular skill is exceptional when it comes to changing lives for the better, as long as we do it right.  But most people don’t do it right, which can be worse than if you had never tried it in the first place.  What am I talking about?  This magical, amazing skill is none other than setting goals and achieving them.

The thing about goal setting is that research shows it‘s not only life-changing, it can even be life-saving.  When people who were imprisoned in concentration camps or held in hostage situations or stranded on desert islands set small, daily goals, they were motivated to stay alive.  They had something going on in their daily life that gave them the motivation to fight, to live when others were giving up.

So, here’s the technique.  Write a list of goals, they need to be SMART:-

Specific – be precise, “rather than go out with my friends” make it “Go out Thursday night for a meal at Theo’s with Joe and Becky.” Think WHO is involved, WHEN will it happen, WHERE will I be, WHAT will happen?

Measurable – make sure you can determine that your goal has been successfully achieved.  Think how will I know my goal was successful?

Achievable – seeing the Northern Lights is not a good goal if you’re not going to be able to make it happen.  Think can I make this goal happen within two weeks?

Relevant – is your goal something you value and is it going to make you feel good?

Timely – focus on goals that can be achieved within a two week period, preferably within a week, so you don’t lose the flow.

Go for it, just think of one goal now, start simple, you can shoot for the moon later.  If you achieve it, it will increase your self-esteem, then, do it again, and again.  If you do it according to the rules, you will keep on increasing your self-esteem, if you don’t achieve it, check the rules and have another go.  Goals are motivating, encouraging and uplifting.  They can change your life.  Choose goals that you value and commit to them.  You are looking for goals that leave you with a sense of pleasure and a sense of achievement.  If obstacles get in your way, don’t give up, work around them and keep going.  Remember to celebrate your successes and acknowledge your efforts.

My photo is taken at the River Teifi, Cilgerran, North Pembrokeshire, Wales.  This man is rowing a traditional Welsh coracle boat.  They are quite tricky boats to use and this beautiful river is the venue for an annual coracle race.

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Author:

Healing The Heart of the Earth is my blog and the Home of Four Branches Healing which is the shamanic and energy healing service of myself, Amanda Reid. My blog focuses on my spiritual thoughts, feelings and experiences throughout a daily life blessed with the freedom to be and do many of my favourite things. Coupled with the lessons, messages and challenges that certain physical conditions bring to me from time to time, namely migraine aura and osteoarthritis. Sometimes, I face outwards and focus on bringing healing to others, sometimes, I need to face inwards and focus on my own healing and growth. My passions include walking in the woodlands and working with the trees, strolling along beaches and swimming in the seas. I approach most things from the perspective of a worker with energy, looking for the energetic dynamic and using it to bring healing, hope, love, faith and manifestation into my life and those of others who cross my path, in as much as I am able. My path is wholly within the vibrations of the divine, particularly the feminine principle of the divine, whose current expression is enabling a balance of male and female energy for humanity. One day, we will be ready to embrace the non-gender reality of the cosmic levels completely, but for now, the divine feminine is bringing her loving and compassionate energy to balance out and bring healing to the millenia of masculine divine energy that has been expressing itself on Earth. If there was only one thing I could say to you, it is this, you are divine. It matters not who you are, you are divine. You have no reason to accept what I say, but I still wish for you to know it, not with your thoughts and mind but in such a way that you feel and experience the truth of it, embrace and embody it. You are divine. You and every other being you know. By divine, I mean you are made up of the same stuff as what we call God, what I call the Creator. At our core, all of us are that pure, that perfect, that magnificent and that wise. We are, however, a little more complicated than that, consisting of a number of elements that go together to make who we are in this, our present personality, in this, our current incarnation on Earth. Take that divine core and add a rather confused and easily bruised personality/ego with a severe memory problem, starting out (again) as a little baby, growing up in a hurt and challenging world, amongst a population of people all going through the same thing, all trying to work it out. The divine core, at soul level, is more like a passenger, its voice not heard for all the noise of our physical existence; the desires, the emotions, the struggles, the suffering, the pain, the fears. All of it, illusion, just a very convincing one. I’m one of many who are waking up. Are you one who is waking up? Confusing, isn’t it? But worth it. There truly is no other way, this is simply the best game in town and we are ascending. Wake up with me and embrace your divine nature. You are more than welcome, you are my reason for being here.

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