Posted in Health & Wellbeing, Life story, migraine

Migraine: When to Stop Fighting?

It’s the first day of February, as I look back over the month of January, there was only one day when I was free of symptoms and able to get on with my life.  I face a decision, looking back over my diary, I can’t argue against the evidence that the migraines have changed from episodic to chronic.  Does this mean I have to face the fact that this is my life, that there is no point in thinking it could all go away?  Right now, as I write, I’m going down again, my head is pounding, my tinnitus is roaring, all day I have struggled to think and function.  And, most importantly, my energy reserve is empty.  I think, this time, the depression is going to come as well, oh, how much I hope not. 

January has been a difficult month, my mother has been in hospital for three weeks now and I’ve been visiting most mornings.  I try to go in as early as possible and stay until her lunch arrives at about one pm.  Then, I go home and cannot function, there’s nothing left in me, no energy at all.  I usually go and lie down.  Recently, I read that migraine may be related to the pressure of the skull on the top of the spine, that is, the atlas vertebrae.  This makes some sense to me, after all, things get worse as the day progresses, the longer I stand upright, and lying down seems to be the only thing that helps. 

Guy, my neuro integration system practitioner, has been treating my atlas vertebrae and he noticed it was not aligned or working as it should, some time ago.  He had to work on it over a number of sessions because it kept reverting to a dysfunctional state.  He did set it right, but I don’t know how it is now.  It seems to me that every time I have a migraine, especially the big ones that go on for a while, several other functions in my brain get screwed up and then Guy finds problems with my hypothalamus or startle response.  Most often, he finds I’m hyper-sensitive to visual and auditory stimuli and this creates slowed down responses to everyday basic situations.  I can’t tell right from left or even get my words out, my thinking time is too slow.

I’ve continued to do things that I hope would change all this, because I believe physical disablement can be a manifestation of a psychological problem.  I’ve been trying to open my heart because, when I get depressed alongside the migraine, I close down and lose trust in others as a protective device.  I haven’t given up using the technique for keeping my heart open, even if the migraine doesn’t improve, it’s something I need to do. 

Now, I’m doing a Soul Plan reading for myself and I found that it indicates a tendency to deny my shadow self.  I’m not a stranger to working with dark energy, having depression sees to that, but I wonder if the depression is a manifestation of my shadow expressing itself, I do have a tendency to embrace my light side and ignore my shadow when I’m well.  Right now, I’m not quite sure what to do about this. 

I find myself contemplating medication again, something I despise to put into my body.  When I took it before, it stopped the migraine, but at a cost.  I still believe the migraine can go away, so, I’m reluctant to take medication because, apart from putting all those toxins in my body, I won’t know if it’s gone away or got better as I try each new possible solution.  I did say I would stick with Guy and see where that left me but it seems Guy has just dropped away, he told me he would telephone me last week but he didn’t call.  He said he was waiting for things to stabilise in order to continue treatment but I think we’ll be waiting a mighty long time for that to happen, based on the last few months.        

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Author:

Healing The Heart of the Earth is my blog and the Home of Four Branches Healing which is the shamanic and energy healing service of myself, Amanda Reid. My blog focuses on my spiritual thoughts, feelings and experiences throughout a daily life blessed with the freedom to be and do many of my favourite things. Coupled with the lessons, messages and challenges that certain physical conditions bring to me from time to time, namely migraine aura and osteoarthritis. Sometimes, I face outwards and focus on bringing healing to others, sometimes, I need to face inwards and focus on my own healing and growth. My passions include walking in the woodlands and working with the trees, strolling along beaches and swimming in the seas. I approach most things from the perspective of a worker with energy, looking for the energetic dynamic and using it to bring healing, hope, love, faith and manifestation into my life and those of others who cross my path, in as much as I am able. My path is wholly within the vibrations of the divine, particularly the feminine principle of the divine, whose current expression is enabling a balance of male and female energy for humanity. One day, we will be ready to embrace the non-gender reality of the cosmic levels completely, but for now, the divine feminine is bringing her loving and compassionate energy to balance out and bring healing to the millenia of masculine divine energy that has been expressing itself on Earth. If there was only one thing I could say to you, it is this, you are divine. It matters not who you are, you are divine. You have no reason to accept what I say, but I still wish for you to know it, not with your thoughts and mind but in such a way that you feel and experience the truth of it, embrace and embody it. You are divine. You and every other being you know. By divine, I mean you are made up of the same stuff as what we call God, what I call the Creator. At our core, all of us are that pure, that perfect, that magnificent and that wise. We are, however, a little more complicated than that, consisting of a number of elements that go together to make who we are in this, our present personality, in this, our current incarnation on Earth. Take that divine core and add a rather confused and easily bruised personality/ego with a severe memory problem, starting out (again) as a little baby, growing up in a hurt and challenging world, amongst a population of people all going through the same thing, all trying to work it out. The divine core, at soul level, is more like a passenger, its voice not heard for all the noise of our physical existence; the desires, the emotions, the struggles, the suffering, the pain, the fears. All of it, illusion, just a very convincing one. I’m one of many who are waking up. Are you one who is waking up? Confusing, isn’t it? But worth it. There truly is no other way, this is simply the best game in town and we are ascending. Wake up with me and embrace your divine nature. You are more than welcome, you are my reason for being here.

3 thoughts on “Migraine: When to Stop Fighting?

  1. We both have experienced a most challenging January when it comes to pain levels, and we both have managed to stay strong in the face of challenges. Not how I would want it to be and the battles could lessen if I had a choice, but we are doing it my sister, for whatever reason we have to face these times.
    Keep strong and believe. I don’t know where I know this from, but this will not become your reality. It was simply a bad month. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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